J-J-J-J-Jakarta

DAY 1

Waking up at 3 AM is never fun. Unless it's to go somewhere awesome. Enter Axel's Trips Part Deux: Jakarta. 

After an uneventful flight, I met up with my travel-buddy Kate, whom I met in Singapore and teaches at another EF (see this post). We took a surprisingly nice (and airconditioned!) bus from Jakarta's Soekarno-Hatta airport (which I still consider to be the Devil's child as far as buildings are concerned) to downtown Jakarta. So far, none of that infamous and dreaded Jakarta gridlock. Good times. Not long after we caught the first glimpses of the city, we arrived at Gambir Station (next to Monumen Nasional or Monas but more on that later) where we found two friendly ojeks (motorcycle taxis, always good fun as they zig-zag through traffic with or without a helmet - it doesn't matter here, or so it seems) who took us to our hostel. If you ever find yourself in Jakarta, stay there! It's called Six Degrees and it's awesome.

A quick breakfast across the street from Six Degrees and Kate and yours truly were good to go. We walked over to a nearby street where they sold "antiques" - the origin of the vendors' wares was not always verifiable. Anyway, this was good fun for about half an hour but then we were ready for some real retail therapy. We found a great therapist called Grand Indonesia Mall; a mall so massive its name actually doesn't do it justice. I'm serious: 250000 m2 of decadence and pleasure where Indonesia's rich and beautiful come out to play.

Bottom line: if retail is your therapy, your therapist is Grand Indonesia Mall and his office is fucking enormous.

Time for a picture of a statue of dancing and singing children:

  

Some shopping later (I bought a pair of navy blue All Star Slims if you must know), we sat down for a great but way over-priced cup of coffee (and an amazing blueberry cupcake that eyed me from the moment we walked into the coffee place so I had to have it). We both got up at ungodly hours, so we needed the caffeine like pandas need bamboo. Besides, our weekend's theme was "Treat yourself" (if any of you watch NBC's brilliant show 'Parks & Recreation', you recognize this phrase immediately), so fuck it. After a mall visit that lasted for some time, Kate and I were exhausted. Can you blame us? 

Our day needed some new energy and they don't even sell proper RedBull in this country, so what could we do? Right, we went to a bar. But....not just any bar - no, Kate and I do things right so we went to 'Skye'; situated on the 56th floor of the BCA Menara Tower with a wonderful patio and an equally wonderful view. Take a look for yourself:

Skye's patio.

Rinse off your feet with Jakarta's skyline at your, ehm, feet.

Yours truly.

Apparently, this was a good day in Jakarta smog-wise.

Even though our drinks took ridiculously long to arrive, they were awesome and let's be honest, this view makes up for a whole lot. Like in Grand Indonesia, we were once again surrounded by the young, beautiful and well-off - such a good crowd to observe.

Come evening, we made our way back to Six Degrees to shower and change. Jakarta's dirt is inescapable so I required a good cleaning. Clean as a wistle, sharp as a razor, Kate and I made our way to a restaurant called Cava where we enjoyed some amazing food. I had amazing chicken wings, soaked in proper barbecue sauce and a sirloin steak that resulted in a mouth-gasm. After this divine dinner, we headed to a bar aptly named Upstairs as it was upstairs in a building. Human logic never ceases to amaze me. Here we had a couple of beers and a good time while a big, big girl sang some songs and nearly swallowed the microphone (presumably because she was hungry). Oh, and by 'sang' I mean 'raped'. Not too long after this, we headed back for some shuteye and I'm pretty sure I dreamed about sirloin steak.

DAY 2

After a wonderful day of indulgence, Kate and I set off for a more culturally responsible day. We started at Monas, the 132m high phallus thing that symbolizes the struggle for Indonesia. Quite impressive.

Next to Monas, there was also a dude on a horse.

Our next cultural stop was the National Museum where apparently it's official policy to discriminate against foreigners (see below).

Discrimination, I tell you!

Kate tells me this is common practice in this collection of islands we call Indonesia, so following her example I pulled out my kitas (my 'green card', if you will) and got the normal rate anyway. Suck it!

The museum was really nice but quite disorganized, even more so as it displayed so many different things from a lot of different times. In addition, I was filmed and interviewed by three school girls (extra points for doing work on a Sunday!).

The Museum

After the museum, where we could have spent more time but didn't, we made our way to Kota, the old city in the North where the Dutch colonial government was seated. We walked around, had lunch and quickly came to the conclusion there wasn't jack-shit to do or see as the old buildings are left to rot except for the Gouverneurskantoor (still in pristine condition). To be fair, Kota reminds Indonesia of colonial (and therefore worse) times, so I understand why they'd rather do something else than renovate and maintain the old city but as a historian, I wish it were different. Below some impressions:

 

After Kota, we felt it was time to head back to our hostel and chill out for an hour before getting the bus back to the airport. City trips, as you all know, are tiring! As we left Gambir Station, the sun had already set over Monas. How fitting!

 

Once we got to the airport (and it's quite far from the city), we had some quick food before we had to say goodbye and find our respective gates. But, Jakarta Airport wouldn't be Jakarta Airport if it didn't find a way to fuck me over. Hence, my two-hour delay... My flight finally left for Palembang at 22.18 as opposed to the scheduled 20.00 and I didn't get home until 0:30. However, it was all worth it.  Thanks Kate!

POST-SCRIPT

Jakarta is incredible on so many levels. Yes, it is really dirty (when I got back to Palembang, which isn't exactly known for its air quality either, I felt like I was breathing fresh winter air) and doesn't have a real heart - all of its attractions are spread out all over the place. However, what makes it really interesting is the fact that it harbors so many contradictions. On the one hand, its malls are more luxurious and decadent than any other mall I've been to (and I've been to a fair share; thanks USA!). On the other hand, once you step outside of the airconditioning, you are confronted with an entirely different life, that consists of poverty, dirt and not always peaceful cultural differences. At once, you understand why these malls etcetera and the lifestyle they embody represent changes that not everyone is happy about - a situation that has resulted in several instances of bombings and violence. Consequently, there were metal detectors and security checks outside of each entrance of the mall. At Monas however, the nation's most important monument, there was next-to-nothing security wise; you were free to do as you please. Another example: while this metropolis is at the forefront of the westernization of Indonesia, it is also the place where Lady Gaga's concert got cancelled just a couple of weeks ago as she is supposed to be, and I quote, the "Devil's daughter". Crazy right?

In any case, I will definitely be back.

Talk soon, lovely people!

Paradise (also known as Bangka Island)

The following account is based on actual events.

[Fade in; dramatic music swells.]
We open with the image of Palembang at dawn, still dark, caught in a torrential rain. A group of five English teachers wake up and get ready for a weekend of relaxation on Bangka Island, not far off the coast of Sumatra. A taxi arrives. The stars of this story make their way through the pouring rain, packed and ready to go.

Flash forward to Palembang’s Sultan Mahmud Badaruddin II Airport. The flight departed on time and took less than 30 minutes to land on Bangka Island. The airline served a “cheeky little sandwich” and there was heavy turbulence for 25 of those 30 minutes so we got to enjoy a flight that felt like a prolonged rollercoaster ride. Awesome – I love turbulence. The little girl in the seat in front of me did not enjoy it as much as the EF delegation though. She vomited a good half a liter over herself and her chair.

On Bangka, we were once again confronted with a massive downpour of rain. We feared the worst as we embarked on an hour long taxi ride that took us from the airport to a grocery store to a back-alley store – to purchase the necessary beers – to our accommodation. The accommodation, while over-priced and more than a little bit “ghetto”, certainly had its charm and was just a short walk from the beach. We settled in and made our way to it. 

The beach was awesome and empty and clean and the weather cleared up nicely. We spent our days tanning, (which is like a cardinal sin here; when I told my students I would be tanning on the beach they looked at me with disgust, disbelief and other, similar, emotions), chatting, swimming, drinking, building bonfires, making and eating smores.

On Saturday, Nick and I went for a two-hour stroll along the beach and found amazing rock formations, interesting sea-life and so on. Later, following the directive of our Bonfire Führer Diane, we set out to gather wood and stashed it in a safe place. In the evening we went out to Eat ‘n Eat, a little square in the middle of the nearest town, along which some 25 food stalls were lined up. The food here was wonderful, cheap and plentiful. That’s like the best combination possible.

Our taxi driver, who had a strong preference for hard techno music, decorated his car with wonderful LED lighting and wanted us to meet his baby (“Nah, we’re good. Thanks though!”), took a shower while we ate and afterwards took us back to Ghetto Inn. There we gathered our supplies and once again made our way to the beach to start the bonfire. Imagine the light and the crackling of the fire in an otherwise pitch black night, the sound of the ocean in the background, beers and marshmallows in your hands and great company to go with all of that. It was as magical as a unicorn.

Naturally, we were all slightly hung over on Sunday but we didn’t have anything to do so who cares. Another wonderful, lazy day at the beach – oh, I almost forgot to mention how warm the water was! I guess it must have been close to 25 degrees which is like perfect – that ended with yet another bonfire while we ran out of beer too soon.

Monday morning? Back to reality, back to teaching.

Nick and I discussed this matter at great length: the jellyfish is aptly named.

Meet Hermie van Persie (named at a time we could still have faith in the Dutch national team)

More hermit crabs, graciously held by Megan's hands.

SMORES!

Fascinating.

Sunrise at our hangout (which was, to quote Diane, quite ghetto)

Military Matrimony

And that was wedding number 2! When it rains, it pours - so to say. This wedding was different however: it was military. Basic elements were still there of course: a sea of men in batik shirts and women with colorful hijabs, elaborate flower boards outside congratulating the couple (there was even one from the Governor of South Sumatra) and tons of wonderful food.

While approximately 500 people found their seats in the main room of the hotel, a military band found its way to the front. Along the red carpet that ran through the middle of all the chairs and lead from the hotel's entrance to the main podium, a group of about twelve soldiers lined up - six on each side of the carpet, in upright position with their hands on their ceremonial sabers.

Then the music surged: a heavy drum rhythym, accompanied by the swerving sounds of trumpets and horns. It sounded like, and probably was, a battle song (after all, it's the battle that lies at the heart of each marriage).

Then the soldiers' commander shouted out some orders in a brusk, loud voice.

All the attendees rose, and each soldier guarding the red carpet had pulled out his saber, blocking the way of the newlyweds by crossing his sword with that of his counterpart on the opposite side of the carpet. As the music continued, the couple marched forward slowly, one step at the time, perfectly in sync with the drum's rhythym. The two soldiers along the red carpet closest to the couple, slowly raised their crossed sabers until it looked like a roof and allowed the couple to pass. This process continued as the bride and groom kept moving forward: each next set of soldiers would also raise their swords and ceremonially let the couple through. Once the couple passed a set of soldiers, the soldiers would bring their swords to their nose, pointed upwards, turn 90 degrees and follow the bride and groom - still taking each step based on the captivating rhythym.

The music continued until the couple and its military entourage made their way to the front of the room. There, the soldiers encircled the couple, raised their sabers and made a circular roof of some sorts above the couple. The music stopped and, within this circle, two officials led the couple into their civil marriage (I believe the religious ceremony took place the day before). Two female soldiers spoke incomprehensible things into a microphone (it was in Indonesian, after all).

 

At the end of the ceremony, the couple climbed the stage, flanked by the soldiers and their commander (on the left of the bride). Kodak moment!!

After that, it was time to eat. Masses of people, yours truly included, ran for the buffet table and feasted on the food like starved animals. Meanwhile, the couple and their respective parents sat down on the podium, waiting for people to come up and congratulate them as a 'regular' band started playing lovesongs (not all were as appropriate though, one was even about leaving your lover. Way to start a marriage!)

After all of this, things died down quite quickly. In any case, it was an amazing experience!

Monkey Business

This Saturday morning a friend and I went to Punti Kayu – a zoo with a park/forest attached to it – to get away from the rustle and bustle of central Palembang. The zoo is supposed to be horrible in terms of animal (mis-)treatment, so I’m glad we didn’t go there (and further facilitate the abuse by paying the entrance fee). 

However, the park/forest was really nice, mostly because it was so quiet and peaceful – qualities a lot of places in Palembang lack. We chose to sit on one of the elevated wooden plateaus that were spread out throughout the woods and then we unpacked, unwrapped and opened the food we got 

beforehand.I'm telling you, dearest readers, Indonesian food is an adventure on its own, but more on that later. 

Good food, wonderful surroundings and, above all, great company make for a a wonderful way to spend an early Saturday morning – any early morning in fact! But then our luck turned around when some 20 unexpected visitors came and caused a ruckus! See for yourself…

Talk soon, lovely people!

Hold on to your momma!

Assessing the snack situation

"What's this?"

Whoopsy Daisy!

A Variety Blog Post

This blog post will be what we renowned writers like to call a ‘Variety Blog Post’. First and foremost, it’s a blog post. Secondly, its text comprises a variety of subjects. You see where I’m heading with this, don’t you? In no particular order, I present to you the following:

1. My Bahasa Indonesian skills…

…are still severely lacking. How do I know this? Well, apart from the laughs I get when I try to pronounce simple phrases, I just found out today that I’ve been washing my body for three fucking weeks with a body wash that serves to make your skin whiter. As most of you know, I like my body tanned so this was quite the downer.

2. Construction work in Indonesia…

…requires a specific set of skills. One: fearlessness. Two, three and four: no understanding of the concepts risk, danger and the Darwin Awards. Don’t get me wrong, these guys work hard and are probably just trying to provide for their families, but this complete and utter disregard for personal safety is simply stunning. Did someone say government regulation? Dream on…

Seriously, no safety measures at ALL!

3. Palembang traffic…

…is something else. Pedicab drivers have a knack for using the wrong side of the road. Motorcyclists are both everywhere and nowhere, which makes for wonderful maneuvering possibilities (I should know!) and the occasional exclamation of “Oh-no-he-did-not-just-do-that!” And in general, it’s just fucking busy and amazing like a giant, life-sized, million piece puzzle… Oh, and I’ve asked around – apparently traffic deaths are quite uncommon here (relatively speaking of course).

One of the natural positions for a becak driver...

4. Work…

…is, all things considered, the main component of my life right now. Thankfully, I’m starting to get the hang of it and I have to say, save for the bureaucratic and administrative hassle, it really is rewarding. I’m starting to see now that children are actually human after all (Disclaimer: before, I thought they were robots).

5. Colleagues come and go…

…and this week I had to say goodbye to Annie, who left for the UK (but not until she visited Bali for four days – JEALOUS!). Unfortunately, I only got to spend 3 weeks with Annie but because we worked and lived together, it was quite intense. So, even though I haven’t gotten to know her that well (or vice versa) I will honestly miss her and that ridiculous British accent of hers. Most of all, however, I will miss the kindness that provided me with an unbelievably warm welcome when I first got here.

Of course, Annie’s goodbye was just that: Annie’s goodbye. However, I can’t help but wonder what my goodbye will look like a year from now. During her last weeks she was drowning in donuts, cakes, all kinds of food, presents, emotional farewells, goodbye lunches and so on. It really was quite impressive to see so many tangible expressions of what she built up during the year with students and people outside of the school. Annie touched lives – truly.

As for me: my goodbye is still light years away and only time will tell what it will be like… Let’s first enjoy the here and now!

Speaking of the here and now: Annie’s replacement will not be here until mid-June so until then, my class load will increase significantly (as will that of the others…).

6. Future plans…

…are in the making! The wise Annie left me with the following piece of advice: travel as much as you can. Now that’s an order I can obey! So, hopefully, June will bring me my first weekend on Bangka Island (which they might as well rename to Fucking Paradise if Google Images is to be believed) as well as my first weekend in Jakarta. How exciting!

7. The first victim…

…of eating with chop sticks is table manners. The second? My ego.  The third? My shirt.

8. The 45^th birthday of Palembang’s Vihara…

…was amazing. It was a night filled with performances, wonderful food and nice people. It got me thinking: I know quite a bit about Christianity and Islam, but knowledge on Buddhism is severely lacking. So that’s my next reading project: reading up on Buddhism and I started this morning.

The Vihara's birthday had it all: song, dance and entertainment. It was just like an episode of Glee! Only difference though: it was all in Indonesian so I kind of missed the plot...

My first wedding

 Well, not MY own, it was someone else's wedding, but you catch my drift. And yes, this blog post is long overdue as I went to it over a week ago. Thank you for your patience, dear reader-folk!

In any case, Danny, one of our school's office boys and by far the funniest, got married! A full delegation from EF went to wish the newlyweds the best, enjoy the free food and nearly succumb to the insane heat. It really was insanely warm and the food, well, it was spicy as hell. Such a wonderful combination!

To be honest, we weren't there for very long. This may have been my first wedding ever, but everyone else had already been to tons of weddings so they weren't as excited, giddy or fascinated as I was. Oh well, I'm still new, naïve and think basically everything is fascinating. Much like a baby, come to think of it. 

So, within 30 minutes, at least about 10 girls came up to us to have their picture taken with us. We are celebrities here! Why, you ask?! Just a simple case of being white. 

Also, there was karaoke (although this shouldn't come as a surprise - there is karaoke here EVERYWHERE! I'm surprised we don't have it at our school. But honestly, it's everywhere!) and the lovely women gracing our ears with song just wouldn't stop asking us to sing. We didn't.

Well, here are some pictures. Talk soon, pretty people!

The couple and family. Look at Danny's shoes - aren't they amazing?!

Gold and red are soooooo fashionable in Muslim weddings these days...

An attempt to capture the scene, but honestly, it was larger and busier than it looks.

Please disregard the little girl giving you the Stare of Death. Instead, focus on the couple and that dashing young fella on the right.

Batik shirts such as these are a national thing here - every Friday is batik day but it is also the dresscode on special occasions such as weddings. And yes, in due time I will most likely get a batik shirt myself as well...

Reflexology

What it actually looked like...

What it looked like with a FLASHHHH!

On my first Sunday afternoon in the Great Palembang, Annie and Diane (colleagues/housemates) took me to Reflexology. I didn’t know what it was either.

So, this is what happens: you come in and you’re brought to these beds that are lined up in this very dark room. There are all kinds of ornaments, some Mediterranean/Oriental lounge music is playing and in the background you hear an indoor fountain streaming away. It was all very relaxing.

You sit down on the bed and you’re brought a bowl with pebbles and hot water to put your feet in. You soak them and then the masseur comes back and then, you know, shit is on. My masseur installed himself behind me and started working his magic on my shoulders, back and head.

Let me tell you: Reflexology is not for the faint of heart as it requires quite the tolerance for pain.

This guy’s hands looked really normal but when he started kneading, it was as if his hands transformed into hands of steel with MASSIVE power. And then he started to use his elbows and knees, which were also made of titanium and put immense pressure on my tender little body. You know how old cars get crushed at junkyards and stuff? Well, the Reflexology place was the junkyard, I was the old car and the masseur was the crusher.

And it was WONDERFUL! No, seriously, I haven’t felt more relaxed in over two months. The best thing about it, you ask? Well, it lasted for 90 fucking minutes and set me back only 65000 Rupiah! Score!

My advice to you, my dear readers, is to get on this reflexology bandwagon like NOW!