Monkey Business

This Saturday morning a friend and I went to Punti Kayu – a zoo with a park/forest attached to it – to get away from the rustle and bustle of central Palembang. The zoo is supposed to be horrible in terms of animal (mis-)treatment, so I’m glad we didn’t go there (and further facilitate the abuse by paying the entrance fee). 

However, the park/forest was really nice, mostly because it was so quiet and peaceful – qualities a lot of places in Palembang lack. We chose to sit on one of the elevated wooden plateaus that were spread out throughout the woods and then we unpacked, unwrapped and opened the food we got 

beforehand.I'm telling you, dearest readers, Indonesian food is an adventure on its own, but more on that later. 

Good food, wonderful surroundings and, above all, great company make for a a wonderful way to spend an early Saturday morning – any early morning in fact! But then our luck turned around when some 20 unexpected visitors came and caused a ruckus! See for yourself…

Talk soon, lovely people!

Hold on to your momma!

Assessing the snack situation

"What's this?"

Whoopsy Daisy!

A Variety Blog Post

This blog post will be what we renowned writers like to call a ‘Variety Blog Post’. First and foremost, it’s a blog post. Secondly, its text comprises a variety of subjects. You see where I’m heading with this, don’t you? In no particular order, I present to you the following:

1. My Bahasa Indonesian skills…

…are still severely lacking. How do I know this? Well, apart from the laughs I get when I try to pronounce simple phrases, I just found out today that I’ve been washing my body for three fucking weeks with a body wash that serves to make your skin whiter. As most of you know, I like my body tanned so this was quite the downer.

2. Construction work in Indonesia…

…requires a specific set of skills. One: fearlessness. Two, three and four: no understanding of the concepts risk, danger and the Darwin Awards. Don’t get me wrong, these guys work hard and are probably just trying to provide for their families, but this complete and utter disregard for personal safety is simply stunning. Did someone say government regulation? Dream on…

Seriously, no safety measures at ALL!

3. Palembang traffic…

…is something else. Pedicab drivers have a knack for using the wrong side of the road. Motorcyclists are both everywhere and nowhere, which makes for wonderful maneuvering possibilities (I should know!) and the occasional exclamation of “Oh-no-he-did-not-just-do-that!” And in general, it’s just fucking busy and amazing like a giant, life-sized, million piece puzzle… Oh, and I’ve asked around – apparently traffic deaths are quite uncommon here (relatively speaking of course).

One of the natural positions for a becak driver...

4. Work…

…is, all things considered, the main component of my life right now. Thankfully, I’m starting to get the hang of it and I have to say, save for the bureaucratic and administrative hassle, it really is rewarding. I’m starting to see now that children are actually human after all (Disclaimer: before, I thought they were robots).

5. Colleagues come and go…

…and this week I had to say goodbye to Annie, who left for the UK (but not until she visited Bali for four days – JEALOUS!). Unfortunately, I only got to spend 3 weeks with Annie but because we worked and lived together, it was quite intense. So, even though I haven’t gotten to know her that well (or vice versa) I will honestly miss her and that ridiculous British accent of hers. Most of all, however, I will miss the kindness that provided me with an unbelievably warm welcome when I first got here.

Of course, Annie’s goodbye was just that: Annie’s goodbye. However, I can’t help but wonder what my goodbye will look like a year from now. During her last weeks she was drowning in donuts, cakes, all kinds of food, presents, emotional farewells, goodbye lunches and so on. It really was quite impressive to see so many tangible expressions of what she built up during the year with students and people outside of the school. Annie touched lives – truly.

As for me: my goodbye is still light years away and only time will tell what it will be like… Let’s first enjoy the here and now!

Speaking of the here and now: Annie’s replacement will not be here until mid-June so until then, my class load will increase significantly (as will that of the others…).

6. Future plans…

…are in the making! The wise Annie left me with the following piece of advice: travel as much as you can. Now that’s an order I can obey! So, hopefully, June will bring me my first weekend on Bangka Island (which they might as well rename to Fucking Paradise if Google Images is to be believed) as well as my first weekend in Jakarta. How exciting!

7. The first victim…

…of eating with chop sticks is table manners. The second? My ego.  The third? My shirt.

8. The 45^th birthday of Palembang’s Vihara…

…was amazing. It was a night filled with performances, wonderful food and nice people. It got me thinking: I know quite a bit about Christianity and Islam, but knowledge on Buddhism is severely lacking. So that’s my next reading project: reading up on Buddhism and I started this morning.

The Vihara's birthday had it all: song, dance and entertainment. It was just like an episode of Glee! Only difference though: it was all in Indonesian so I kind of missed the plot...

My first wedding

 Well, not MY own, it was someone else's wedding, but you catch my drift. And yes, this blog post is long overdue as I went to it over a week ago. Thank you for your patience, dear reader-folk!

In any case, Danny, one of our school's office boys and by far the funniest, got married! A full delegation from EF went to wish the newlyweds the best, enjoy the free food and nearly succumb to the insane heat. It really was insanely warm and the food, well, it was spicy as hell. Such a wonderful combination!

To be honest, we weren't there for very long. This may have been my first wedding ever, but everyone else had already been to tons of weddings so they weren't as excited, giddy or fascinated as I was. Oh well, I'm still new, naïve and think basically everything is fascinating. Much like a baby, come to think of it. 

So, within 30 minutes, at least about 10 girls came up to us to have their picture taken with us. We are celebrities here! Why, you ask?! Just a simple case of being white. 

Also, there was karaoke (although this shouldn't come as a surprise - there is karaoke here EVERYWHERE! I'm surprised we don't have it at our school. But honestly, it's everywhere!) and the lovely women gracing our ears with song just wouldn't stop asking us to sing. We didn't.

Well, here are some pictures. Talk soon, pretty people!

The couple and family. Look at Danny's shoes - aren't they amazing?!

Gold and red are soooooo fashionable in Muslim weddings these days...

An attempt to capture the scene, but honestly, it was larger and busier than it looks.

Please disregard the little girl giving you the Stare of Death. Instead, focus on the couple and that dashing young fella on the right.

Batik shirts such as these are a national thing here - every Friday is batik day but it is also the dresscode on special occasions such as weddings. And yes, in due time I will most likely get a batik shirt myself as well...

Reflexology

What it actually looked like...

What it looked like with a FLASHHHH!

On my first Sunday afternoon in the Great Palembang, Annie and Diane (colleagues/housemates) took me to Reflexology. I didn’t know what it was either.

So, this is what happens: you come in and you’re brought to these beds that are lined up in this very dark room. There are all kinds of ornaments, some Mediterranean/Oriental lounge music is playing and in the background you hear an indoor fountain streaming away. It was all very relaxing.

You sit down on the bed and you’re brought a bowl with pebbles and hot water to put your feet in. You soak them and then the masseur comes back and then, you know, shit is on. My masseur installed himself behind me and started working his magic on my shoulders, back and head.

Let me tell you: Reflexology is not for the faint of heart as it requires quite the tolerance for pain.

This guy’s hands looked really normal but when he started kneading, it was as if his hands transformed into hands of steel with MASSIVE power. And then he started to use his elbows and knees, which were also made of titanium and put immense pressure on my tender little body. You know how old cars get crushed at junkyards and stuff? Well, the Reflexology place was the junkyard, I was the old car and the masseur was the crusher.

And it was WONDERFUL! No, seriously, I haven’t felt more relaxed in over two months. The best thing about it, you ask? Well, it lasted for 90 fucking minutes and set me back only 65000 Rupiah! Score!

My advice to you, my dear readers, is to get on this reflexology bandwagon like NOW!

Destination: Palembang

I left for Changi Airport only to get to a delayed plane. Such a downer. In addition, Lion Air (my airline for the day) is to Singapore Air as a midget is to a real human being – just not good enough. I was supposed to have two hours at Soekarno-Hatta Airport (Jakarta) but it turned out to be only 45 minutes. Before I continue however, there is something I need to get out of the way.

To all the architects, planners and builders of the world: Please, do not EVER, in ANY circumstance look to Jakarta airport as an example for ANYTHING. Forget that it hardly has any A/C, it is crazy busy and really dirty. I can live with that. No, my real problem lies with the fact that they planted the terminals on all different sides of this massive stretch of land and fucking dared to call it all a single entity. You don’t see me going around saying Boston and New York are the same city, do you?

Ok, that was enough ranting. Back to the story.

I arrived at the International Terminal and had to get to the Domestic Terminal within I arrived at the International Terminal and had to get to the Domestic Terminal within I arrived at the International Terminal and had to get to the Domestic Terminal within 45 minutes. Lucky for me, the elderly couple I sat next to on the plane helped me get there – I would’ve missed my connecting flight if it weren’t for them. Terima kasih!

Anyway, the drama wasn’t over quite yet. I was in a hurry, in the 35 degree heat with too many and too heavy bags. I finally got to the final security check and they sent me back to pay airport taxes. Guess who didn’t have any Indonesian money yet?

I ran back outside, found an ATM which, of course, had a line waiting. I wasn’t about to miss my flight, so first I went through the repertoire of tapping my foot, demonstratively looking at my watch et cetera. That didn’t do the trick so, sweaty as hell and with a look in my eyes that can only be compared to that of a mad man, I uttered a semi-random string of words: “must make flight… airport tax… no money…please!” Naturally, they didn’t understand a word I said but they sure as hell got out of my way. Score!

Then I ran upstairs again and arrived at security less than 5 minutes before departure time. I passed that lame excuse for security in no time only to find out they hadn’t even finished boarding the plane before mine.

Looking back at this tale, I realize mistakes were made. However, none were mine. And, Jakarta is the main gateway out of Palembang so my already complicated relationship with Jakarta Airport will most likely continue.

Once I got to Palembang though, it was smooth sailing. Tom and Eddie the driver picked me up, took me by the school where I met the owner Ceclia and then dropped me off at the house to settle in. I met my colleagues/housemates/new family and at night Tom’s girlfriend Rita took us all out for dinner because it was her birthday. Good stuff! After dinner we went shopping and I got my first supplies but I almost went fetal in the middle of the store because I really did not know what to buy. Not my finest moment.

But: I am still here, bitches!

Singapore, the Sequel

Dear readers (all you millions), I am sure you’d like to know more about Palembang but I’ll have to take you through the second day in Singapore first. So be patient, I’ll get there. 

So, another day in the city that took my Asia-virginity. On day 2, I was told to meet a semi-shady guy underneath an umbrella at some McDonald’s who held office hours there between 9 and 11 to get my visa. My colleagues and DoS (Director of Studies) reassured me this was all too normal and even though it sounds a little like a drug deal, it really was nothing that exciting. 

Next to him were some other EF teachers from other Indonesian cities who were there for the same reason I was. We talked for a while and one of them, Kate from New Zealand, and I decided to visit the Botanical Gardens which were as huge as they were beautiful (see pics). We literally walked there for hours and it was really hot and sunny. Kate is like this mega-experienced traveller and you know me, I’m a rookie, so I took to interrogating her. Then we had lunch in this mall from the future called Ion and walked to a quiet little side street that had some architecturally-responsible houses. I daresay Kate and I had a great day.

We headed back to the visa guy at 4, picked up our visas and then Kate, Tom (another EF’er) and I went to Little India, wandered around a bit and stopped at some beer garden, had a drink and then Kate had to get back to the airport to catch her flight. Not all EF’ers were as lucky as I was to spend 2 nights in that wonderful city. After Kate left, we were joined by an Indian guy nicknamed Elly (we told him it was a girl’s name but he didn’t mind so we didn’t either) and drank some more (actually, Tom and Elly drank some more – I am just too responsible). Elly was nice because he smiled all the time and he told us about his life (he’s in the import-export business so that’s always good), we told him about ours and just generally had a good time. Two white guys in the middle of Little India – which, quite unexpectedly, is filled with Indians – making friends with Elly was quite the sight I suppose because everybody was looking at us. 

Tom and I then went to get some food around the corner, we tried to make new friends there as well but failed because two pretty girls were too busy with the wedding they had to go through later that night (not their own, Tom and I are not THAT horrible). Tom the Brit needed some more beer but I had to pack because I was leaving early the next day so we said our goodbyes, I headed back to the hotel and waited for my 6 o’clock alarm to go off.

Singapore, I'll be back.

The pearly gates of botanical heaven

Swan Lake

They're breeding little Germans here. In a few weeks, their blonde heads will sprout out of the soil.

Chopin and one of his bitches, craving his musical genius

Mall from the future.

Escalator from the future

Little India

Tom and Kate, my muchachos for the day

It took me 24+ years to figure out how to do it properly. Thanks!

Elly

Singapore!

PRE-DEPARTURE:

Every time you utter a cliché, God kills a kitten.

That fact will not stop me from characterizing these last two weeks as an ‘emotional rollercoaster’.

I don’t remember a time when I felt more appreciated – ever. I sincerely hope everyone feels this way at least once. I’ll be honest however: the whole ordeal has been incredibly hard (that’s what she said). Goodbyes show what (who!) I’ll miss. However, I have no clue as to what I’ll get in return for all those goodbyes once I get to Palembang. So that’ll be something. 

In any case: I love the people I have around me.

POST-DEPARTURE:

So, now to the good part: departure! Singapore Airlines is something else and I mean that in the best way possible. As far as the transport of cattle goes (I believe the proper term is ‘economy class’), I felt like I had at least some lebensraum. Moreover, there were there no crying babies/children aboard and the female cabin crew was simply great to look at. I doubt the pleasure was mutual however – me, my stress-face and comfy travel outfit…

And now to the even better part: Singapore itself! I arrived at around 6 AM and everything went silky smooth. Then I took a cab, got to the hotel but couldn’t check in until 3 PM (fuckkkk!). Fortunately, I could take a shower. Oh, how nice it felt to put on shorts and a simple short-sleeve shirt (suck it, Dutch weather!).

I saw a ton of things today (see pictures) and made sure I visited several parts of the city (thank you, touristy hop-on/off bus). Recommended by my friend the Lonely Planet, I went to Little India to have lunch at a hawker center there (basically a mall that consists of a lot of food stalls – the food is delicious (so far), cheap as hell and the smells are amazing). The food was great and I made some Indian friends (you know how I roll!) but then, all of the sudden the BIGGEST thunderstorm in the history of mankind broke loose. I know what you´re thinking: so what, you were in a mall. True, but this mall was only partially covered by a roof. So, hundreds of people were having lunch at tables while this open space in the middle of the got hammered by rain and the loudest thunder struck time and time again. Such a wonderful experience!

After lunch, I waited for the rain to be over and then I met this German girl and we talked for a little while but she was boring so I went to the hotel, got wet anyway, finally checked in, took a nap, then went to a nearby food court and ate Chinese food.

A couple of things to end with:

1.     1. You know you’re in Asia when make-up products promise you bigger eyes.

2.      2. I saw bras advertised that have a string to pull so everything gets pushed together and gives you a fake C-cup. Wonder if that would work for me as well. Too much of a pussy to try though.  

3.      3. Wish I took a picture of this, but I saw signs apologizing for the inconvenience caused by construction accompanied by the picture of a humble, bowing man – almost asking for your forgiveness. I gave it to him instantly.

Talk soon!

Raffles was some kind of big shot - look it up!

Yes, there's a fucking park on top of three fucking towers. Who makes that shit up?

War Monument

Anglican Church

Jesus (at the Armenian Church)

Some mid-race peptalk

Chinatown Singapore. Looks like every other Chinatown.

Seriously, what's up with all these trees on rooftops?

Skyline. Look at those streetlights!

Landing cones for extraterrestial beings.

The scene at the hawker center. So much more intense in real life, though.