Thailand Day 5: Return to Patong

Thai Travels, S01E05.
Based on a true story

 

Frequent reader, if I tell you I woke up with a completely clear mind on the fifth day, would you believe that? Nah, I didn’t think so… Nothing a little beach can’t solve however! I know, I know, it gets old.

We hung out on the beach for a while, had lunch before gathering our stuff and returned to the pier with heavy hearts. None of us wanted to leave. We would set sail at 14.30 (not really, but ‘set engine’ just doesn’t sound ok) to return to Phuket. First, to comply with my hipster-tendencies, a picture of my lunch (and that of Hannah):

I had expected the ferry trip back to be similar to the one over. Boy, was I wrong! First and foremost, the ferry was packed – I’m talking full-on cattle transport packed. After finding a seat I settled in and I was ready for a snooze. As I replayed my days on Koh Phi Phi with my eyes closed (a not so faint smile graced my face at the thought of all that I had seen and experienced, I’m sure) the ferry set off and after a while I noticed how rough the sea was. This wasn’t like the playful, good-natured flirtation every boat has with the sea. No, this was much more like the Thai boxing we witnessed the night before. The ferry swayed from left to right, up and down with the grace of bulldozer and the engine growled aggressively as it forced the boat through the waves. I didn’t mind – it felt like I was on a rollercoaster and I happen to like rollercoasters. Win-win. 

In any case, I heard an incredibly loud thwack mid-snooze. I couldn’t be bothered opening my eyes so I snoozed some more. Shortly after that however, I felt all the people around me look at something. Mind you, my eyes were still shut so I didn’t see them turn their heads, I felt it happen. The curiosity this triggered beat the desire to keep my eyes closed. I awoke and asked Kate what was going on.

This is what had happened: a guy had come down the steep stairs that lead to the upper deck outside, opened the sliding door and at that point was brutally smacked into the wall to his right because of the waves. He left an enormous dent in the wall’s paneling and this was the thwack I heard. Almost simultaneously, Kate told me, a woman a couple of rows behind us started to projectile vomit. And by projectile vomiting Kate meant several other people were covered in her sick. Wow! This, of course, was what I felt other people were looking at.

 

However, it does not end here. The battering of the boat by the waves continued and the two events described above set off a chain reaction of more nausea and vomit. People left and right started to barf and as if that wasn’t enough, the crew came down to hand out sick bags. What more incentive does your body need to throw it all out? So, that’s exactly what happened. I saw like 11 people produce their own pizza topping in less than an hour. Meanwhile, I was chilling. When I left the boat after this puke-fest, I said a silent prayer for the clean-up crew.

View from the minivan ride back to Patong

Phuket was rainy when we arrived so that was symbolic. A minivan brought us to our hotel in Patong and soon after, we went out for dinner. We had terrible luck with the restaurant but at least we kept our spirits high. We headed back on time because the girls had to get up at an ungodly hour to catch their flight back; I had one more day left on my own. A hasty midnight goodbye later, they were gone and I was left alone.

I hope to bring one of these back to Holland when I return.

Kate and Hannah, thank you so much for a wonderful trip – I truly had a blast and I hope you did too!